💗 Off The Beaten Path
15 Years of Carving My Own Way; Here’s the Navigation Test that Has Never Failed Me
For those of us who have an inner calling to do things a little differently, life can sometimes be a roller coaster trying to figure out in which direction to go, especially when there’s no path in front of you. I’ve spent 15 years (arguably my whole life but it was without any intention in my early years so we will start when I gained some semblance of maturity) using these measures, homing in on what they mean and iterating on how I use them. It’s not a bad way to go about things, so I’m sharing them here, in case they help.
Happy. Healthy. Horny. H3 is my north star. I’ve learned to ask myself these questions before making a big decision - Does it bring me joy? Is it good for me (mind, body or soul)? Does it light me up & turn me on? If all three are a yes, it’s definitely heading in the right direction, even if that changes along the way. I use these as my guardrails and check ins along my path. If something feels off, I return to these measures to see where I’m off balance.
My compass is always my values. Now my values change from time to time, but there are typically always four of them. Values go by all kinds of names (authentic code, foundation, compass, etc) but this is essentially 3-4 foundational beliefs that guide your way. Things that mean a lot to you and shape the day to day decisions. Currently, mine are luxury, expression, intention and experimentation.
Your values need to be extremely personal and even mean something to you that they do not mean to anyone else. For example, when I say luxury, I do not mean private airplanes, fancy cars and expensive dinners in red sole high heels. My version of luxury is defined by things that are truly rare: quiet, calm, and spaciousness of time. A true handmade item, or better yet, the ability to make things by my own hand with traditional ingredients. One of the most luxurious experiences in my life is looking in the fridge for items to make my own face and hair masks. Another immense luxury is never, ever, ever using an alarm to wake up in the morning, followed by the freedom to journal, meditate and stretch for two hours, no matter what time I [naturally] wake up. Luxury is being able to dawn my grocery bag to the store every day so the ingredients I cook with are the freshest possible, and then cranking up music on my speaker while I dance and cook a nutritious, homemade meal. Whatever word encapsulates what you are looking for in the feeling is the right word, make the definition what you need it to be. It doesn’t matter what culture out there dictates, it matters what it means to you and that you know what is in your heart.
Here’s how I use these in tandem:
When I am about to make a decision that I cannot foresee the outcome or is off the beaten path, I ask three questions:
Will it make me happy?
Is it healthy (good) for me?
Does it light me up?
Every once in awhile, I will check in with myself with these three questions just to make sure I’m on the right path.
Then, when it comes to every day decisions - like whether to purchase something, whether or not do to a certain activity, whether or not I’m acting in alignment with myself, I will use my values as a matrix - I try to hit at least two of the values with any one decision. Otherwise, I don’t do it. And if the decision is in direct opposition to any one of my values, then I don’t do it.
Here’s how to apply it:
Let’s use the example of whether or not starting a substack is the right decision:
Will it make me happy? Unequivocally the answer is yes.
Is it healthy for me? Intuitively, I feel the answer to be yes. Especially, if it can support me financially, then it will fill in the area of my life where I need more support to be less stressed, more stable and more routined. That sounds healthy to me.
Does it light me up? Now, this is a more complicated one because there is a bit of fear in the way, but if I imagine what it could be, whoweeeee does my seat light on fire!
So the answers to these questions would be yes. I’m onside towards my north star.
Then, I would check in with my values for individual actions, for example, should I post about passive income?
Is it luxury?
Is it expression?
Is it experimentation?
Is it intention?
My answer to all of these is yes, definitely expression as I have been thinking about this a lot and would love to chat about it more openly with people.
It is definitely experimentation as I have never been able to break through on passive income and the ideas I have around it are experimental.
Is it luxury? Well, it’s certainly a luxury to be able to write about such things and come up with ideas, but if I end up figuring out passive income from talking about it, then it will create SO much luxury in my life. Luxury, check!
Does it have intention? This is where I need to go back to my own definitions of intention - because intention means that there is not only a logical through-line of why I am doing it, but a bigger reason for doing so that serves the higher good. My personal intention for passive income is to get closer to my desire for peace, calm and quiet (luxury) and I want more than anything for others to have this, too. I see all of my friends and people around me working so hard, and there is merit in hard work, but I also want to show and believe in a way that doesn’t have to be like that. Where money is not the root of evil, self-doubt, heartache, misery and fights. I want to find a way that money can mean love. And love flowing to me and from me in a way that feels good for all of us.
Intention, check!
Overall, this idea passes the Navigation Test, and will end you up at the LoveShack =]
Do you know someone who’s navigating life changes or needs to make a change but doesn’t know how? Send this to them.
Do you have a Navigation Test of your own? What is it? What are you navigating right now that could use a little self alignment?